Young Master

Hunter and Russell practicing their King Fu

They say that art imitates life, but in our house it’s the other way around. When Hunter was ten years old, he discovered “The Karate Kid.” He would watch the movie over and over and try to replicate the moves he saw Mr. Miyagi teaching Daniel. He perfected his crane technique. I asked him if he wanted to study karate, and he replied, “If I can study with Mr. Miyagi.” Of course, that was not possible, but he wasn’t interested in going to a class. He didn’t want to spar with other people.

That all changed when my husband introduced Hunter to Bruce Lee. When Hunter watched “Enter the Dragon” for the first time he was entranced by the Kung Fu action. He watched Bruce Lee spin and kick and immediately began asking if he could learn Kung Fu. We told him that he would have to take a class and spar with other people. Suddenly, he was all right with that idea. We didn’t have the money to send him at that time, but we did buy him some nunchaku. They were padded, so he couldn’t hurt himself. He promptly began watching Bruce Lee movies over and over and learning how to spin the nunchaku like Bruce Lee does in the movies. He also started practicing the side kick.

After a while, I got tired of watching Bruce Lee movies over and over. Hunter did not appreciate my ironic commentary of the films, even though I thought it was delightful. I decided to introduce him to a martial artist that I thought was even better than Bruce Lee–Jackie Chan. We started with “Rumble in the Bronx.” “Rumble in the Bronx” is an action comedy that was made for English-speaking audiences, so it is not dubbed. Jackie Chan is known for his high-flying Kung Fu moves and for doing his own stunts. In “Rumble in the Bronx,” he performs amazing stunts like jumping between two tall buildings and getting run over by a hover boat. Unlike Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan follows the more traditional style of Kung Fu and combines it with gymnastics. I have yet to see him fight with nunchaku, but in his movies, he uses a variety of every day objects as weapons, like ladders, chairs, benches, clothing, and anything else he happens to find in the area of the fight. He jumps up walls, slides down curtains and awnings, and flips around until his opponents are completely baffled.

Hunter demonstrating his latest Kung Fu Move

After seeing Jackie Chan in action, he began watching all the Jackie Chan movies he could. It turns out that Jackie Chan made tons of movies starting in the 80’s. They are action-packed and full of cheesy humor, just right for an eighth grade boy. Hunter became more determined than ever to learn King Fu. He asked every couple of weeks if he could start learning Kung Fu. Finally, last November, our financial situation changed and we were able to afford to send him to a Kung Fu school. We found a school that follows the teachings of Ip Man, the teacher who trained Bruce Lee called Pai Lum White Dragon Martial Arts. After getting to know Sifu McCuistion and taking three private lessons, Hunter decided he wanted to continue with Kung Fu. My husband, Russell, decided to sign up for classes as well so now they can attend class and practice together.

Since Hunter has begun taking Kung Fu, I have seen tremendous changes. He has grown stronger both physically and mentally. He has developed grace and stamina. He is also proud of the fact that he retains what he learns and can help his father who has trouble remembering the new moves sometimes. He coaches Russell on how to hold his hands and his legs as well as how to complete the complex sequence of movements that Kung Fu requires. He now walks with a quiet confidence. The last time we watched a Jackie Chan movie together, “Drunken Master,” we could actually pinpoint some of the moves Hunter was learning in the action sequences of the movie. While I wouldn’t want Hunter to imitate every movie he sees, I am glad he chose the tradition of Kung Fu. He may have begun by imitating Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan, but now he is making the tradition his own.

Sifu McCuistion, Kung Fu Master and Instructor

The Light

One of my most favorite songs is “The Light” by Disturbed. Disturbed is a heavy metal band, and, from the name, you wouldn’t think that they could produce a beautiful, uplifting song like “The Light.” You would expect songs like, “Down with the Sickness” and “Another Way to Die,” two songs with shredding guitars and screaming lyrics. I like listening to those two songs when I’m mad or need some energy, but when I’m sad, I listen to “The Light.”

I first discovered this song last summer. Twice a week, I would drive to Littleton to teach my summer classes at Arapahoe Community College. I remember one day, I fell into a pit of despair. Even though the sun was shining, I felt the day grow dark. My husband was out of work and I was trying to support us on an adjunct professor’s salary. I didn’t know how we were going to make it through the summer, let alone the month. I remember the anxiety that was flooding my body as my eyes began to well with tears. Then, “The Light” began to play on my Ipod.

Like an unsung melody
The truth is waiting there for you to find it
It’s not a blight, but a remedy
A clear reminder of how it began
Disturbed

Listening to the David Draiman’s rich and powerful voice, I felt the weight that had settled on me begin to lift. The song reminded me that, even though times were dark right now, I would see light again.

When you think all is forsaken
Listen to me now (all is not forsaken)
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light
Disturbed

Many times that summer, I would fast forward though the songs on my Ipod to find “The Light.” I would listen to it over and over to remind myself that, without the darkness, I wouldn’t know the light. Later that summer, my husband found a job and our situation improved. Now, in these current dark times, I often return to this song. I have listened to it so many times I can cue it up in my mind and listen to it without my Ipod. It reminds me to fight through the darkness and strive for the light.

Coffee Klatch

I have been following a diet plan called Noom for the passed 14 weeks. On Saturday, I posted to my support group about my committing again to the program. I berated myself for straying from the program yet again and having to commit myself again, but then I stopped myself. I have made a lot of progress on the program. I have given up a lot of junk food and am making better choices. I have lost 16 pounds so far. Why should I be mad at myself?

I always get mad at myself for failing to follow a program like Noom perfectly. I also get mad at myself for having to restart my writing routine. This weekend, however, I realized that I haven’t given up like I usually do. I continue to re-commit myself to my health and to my writing. One of my friends told me a while ago that she was really impressed by how much I had accomplished with my blog and how I was inspiring her to write. She said this at a time when I was feeling bad that I had quit writing my blog. Again, I had overlooked what I had already accomplished. I was mad at myself for letting my writing slip, but here I am, again, starting to write.

Whenever I think about changing the theme of my blog, “Beginning Again,” I realize that we are always making new beginnings. No one is going to pursue any activity perfectly, never missing a day. The important thing is that we keep coming back to our important pursuits–that we don’t give up. We keep trying.

A Single Day

Photo by Plush Design Studio on Unsplash

I woke up at 4:30 in the morning on October 11, 2005. Something felt different. I sat up and noticed a wet spot on the bed. I wasn’t having contractions, but I was pretty sure my water had broken. By 8:00, we were headed to the doctor who told me that my water hadn’t broken and to go back home. At 9:30, we were turning onto Mexico when the contractions started. The last few months of my pregnancy I always got contractions when I rode in the car, so I thought maybe they would go away. When I got into the house, however, they continued.

I called the doctor again. She said to monitor them and to get some rest. She didn’t think the baby was ready to come. I wasn’t sure why she thought that. I was a day passed my due date, but what did I know? I’d never done this before. My husband and I settled in the living room to watch TV. Every time a contraction started, I would write down the time and my husband would use his watch to measure how long they were. The contractions didn’t last very long, and there was no discernible pattern to them either. I had my guide from the birthing class we had taken, but my contractions didn’t follow the nice chart that was laid out in the pamphlet. My contractions were coming every five minutes or so and lasted for a few minutes at a time.

At 5:30, I called the doctor and told her I had been having contractions all day. Again, she said she didn’t think I was in labor and she told me to take a bath to calm the contractions. The contractions stopped while I was in the tub, so I thought she must have been right. As I was getting out of the bath, I had to use the bathroom. As I sat on the toilet, I felt something give way and all this fluid poured out. For a moment, I thought my bladder had burst, but then I realized my water had broken. Who knew that there could be so much?

My husband rushed me to the hospital. By 6:30, I was installed in my room. I was already 6 cm dilated. I had been in labor all day long! Then, time seemed to stop. Nothing more happened. My contractions slowed down and my son refused to come out. I don’t blame him. The world is a scary place. I also didn’t want to let him go. When I was pregnant, he went everywhere with me. Now I would have to leave him at a daycare.

I slept off and on through the night. At 6:00 the next morning, I was put in the buddha position and Hunter finally dropped down. At 7:00, the nurses laid me on my back and he popped back up, but it was time to start pushing. I pushed for two hours with no success. The doctor finally had to use forceps.

At 9:35 on October 12, Hunter was born. When they laid him on my chest, he grabbed my little finger. He looked so mad. He was shocked to see that his world had changed so much in a few short hours. Both our worlds changed.

In a sense, Hunter and I were both born that day. I had never wanted children, but I cannot imagine my life without my son. To watch him grow and change every day has been amazing. It’s hard to imagine how much difference a single day could make in my life.

Small Actions Get Shit Done

I read a lot of self-help books. I’m always looking for that magic bullet–that one miracle solution that will end my procrastination, get me in shape, and set me on the road to lifelong success. So far, I haven’t found it. I did, however, find a book that gave me some concrete strategies I could use to get things done. In his book, Getting Things Done, David Allen provides a unique strategy for curing procrastination and increasing productivity. Unlike so many other books on goal-setting and productivity, Allen does not recommend creating a vision statement and outlining big picture goals. He asserts that you can’t focus on your overall vision for success until you clear out the tasks that clutter your mind.

He outlines a five-step system for streamlining workflow and prioritizing tasks. The system involves developing a system for capturing and monitoring big ideas and small tasks. His premise is that if you capture everything you need to do in your life in one place, your mind can quit worrying and focus on the moment, no matter what you are doing. He contends that his process will lead to greater peace of mind and increased creativity and productivity. The first step to implementing the process is to clean your work space and buy an in-box. He actually recommends buying two in-boxes, one for work and one for home. He is a strong believer in having a dedicated work area where you keep all items relating to your work. While implementing this process intrigues me and seems to provide an answer to my chronic procrastination, I was stymied by the first step. I have several sets of in-boxes, but I don’t really have a dedicated work area in the house.

My desk is the dining room table. I had a nice desk that I used for my old computer, but my son has taken it over for his own use. I have a small corner with my roll-top desk and a table that sits behind our couch. After procrastinating for several days, I finally took the first step and cleaned off the table. Following Allen’s advice, I handled all the papers that had piled up only once. If something needed to be filed, I filed it. If something needed to be shredded it, I gave it to my husband (a key piece of advice from Allen is to delegate whatever you can). And I recycled the rest. I ended up with a cleaner area where I could store my in-box and other items, such as my daily planner. The next step is to start capturing all the tasks, projects, and ideas I might want to pursue onto pieces of paper and then put them into my in-box. I then go through the in-box and decide which tasks have to be completed, which projects need to be developed, and ideas that could go on a “maybe later” list. The key to this process is the next step-identifying one small action for each task or project that can bring you closer to finishing it. While I have not been able to do a complete capture of everything I need to do, I jumped on this one piece of advice.

One project that has been plaguing me for months is my novel that I wrote for NaNoWriMo 2018. I’ve been trying to revise it, but have made little progress. It seems like a monumental task, but I thought about one small action that I could take to begin moving forward again. The first thing I need to do is sit down and read it. To read it, I need to print it. Thus, my first small action was born. I needed to print my novel. Once I identified that small action, my brain opened up. I thought about other small actions I could take to begin moving forward with my writing career. I can’t afford a book coach right now, but I’ve been reading a book that will help me coach myself. My next action was to read the next chapter. To do that, I had to sit down at the dining room table. Yesterday, for the first time in over a month, I sat down and renewed my writing routine. I carved out an hour to print my novel, read my writing book, Coach Yourself to Success, and work on a freewrite. Today, I carved out another hour and got my novel copied, read another chapter in Coach Yourself to Success, wrote another freewrite, and analyzed a chapter of a novel that is similar to mine. Tonight, I found another hour to write this blog post.

While Getting Things Done may not be a magic bullet, it does provide some key advice for increasing your productivity. It can help you prune the forest of your obligations of all the saplings that keep you from seeing the trees. Once the undergrowth is cleared away, you can make your way through the forest more easily and without losing your way-one step at a time.

NaNoWriMo 2019

I can’t believe that it is one year later and I am embarking on my second novel. I decided this year to write by the seat of my pants instead of writing a detailed outline. We’ll see how it goes. I tried to write in April and July, but school got in the way. This month, I’m going to hold myself accountable by posting my progress every day. I am still editing the first novel I wrote last November and planning the other novel I wanted to write in April, but I wanted to write something completely different to get my creativity going again. I hope it will help me rekindle my passion for my original NaNoWriMo project. Can a person conduct a dissertation study, teach college English and write a novel in a month? We’re about to find out!

Coffee Klatch

For the past several weeks, I have applied for over 20 teaching jobs. I started to get the refection emails last week. I would have been discouraged, but then, out of the blue, I got two inquiries about working as a freelance writer. That started me thinking.

Every Sunday, my husband and son watch Joel Olsteen. I usually watch him too, but I’m not a religious person. Joel is always preaching about signs from God and how God has something greater planned for the future. I’ve gotten really sick of this message as I’ve been turned down for opportunities and nothing in my life seems to get any better, but then these two writing opportunities happened. Maybe, these opportunities are some sort of sign. I’m not saying they’re a sign from God, but maybe they’re a nudge from the universe. Go this way-not that way. Teaching no longer seems to be a viable option for my career, but maybe writing can become one. This also happened the same week, I seriously re-committed myself to writing every day.

My email has also been flooded by messages from other writers who do make their living writing. More signs? I don’t know. What I do know is that I can’t really control what happens with a teaching career. I teach what I am assigned to teach. Someone else makes my schedule and tells me what to teach. But with writing-I am the one who is in control. I am the one who decides what I will write and when. I think it’s worth heeding the signs.

See you next week!

Coffee Klatch

So much for having balance in my life. I got so behind on my work for my teaching that I had to focus exclusively on that for a while. Now, I’m starting to get a handle on it again, and can finally get back to writing. One thing that is still holding me back is procrastination. I waste a lot of time that could be used to work on my teaching or my writing. Last week, I started to work on scaling back on time-wasters and focusing on work that should take a priority. Instead of binge watching shows all week-end, I focused on working for a couple of hours each day. I didn’t work all day on both Saturday and Sunday, but I worked enough so I could maintain the progress on my work last week. I vowed that this week I would get back to writing again.

Over the week-end I received an advanced copy of a book on writing from Martin Meadows, Self-Discipline for Writers. I will be posting a review later this week. In his book, he suggested several time-management tools. One method is called Pomodoro. Pomodoro is the Italian word for tomato. The man who devised the Pomodoro method uses the word pomodoro for the tomato-shaped kitchen timer he uses to time himself. The Pomodoro Method is structured in 25 minute increments. You set a timer and work for 25 minutes on a task. Then, you take a short five-minute break. When I read about this method, I thought to myself: I can do anything for 25 minutes. I downloaded a free Pomodoro app and gave it a try this morning. Using the Pomodoro timer, I worked for 50 minutes on revising my novel, and now I’m writing my blog post. It’s only 11:00 in the morning! I haven’t been starting to work until afternoon in previous weeks! (Procrastination again).

Another piece of advice Meadows shares in his book is to focus on one project at a time. I tried to participate in Camp NaNoWriMo this April, but instead of focusing on my novel revision project, I started a new one. I didn’t really make any headway on either project. I’m going to shelve the romance novel I was planning for a while and focus on finishing this first novel.

The past couple of weeks have been hard. We are surviving on one part-time salary. I’ve tried applying for teaching jobs and writing jobs, but have not had any success. I decided to begin treating my writing like a business, another piece of advice from Meadows. I am going to write every day until my novel is finished and then I’m going to focus on self-publishing it and earning some money. While I know I’m not going to get rich, I think I can create a supplemental income if I’m willing to work at it.

It seems like I’m always starting over on my goals, but that’s the point of my blog, Beginning Again. I need to remember that even when I slip up, I can always start anew.

See you next week. No more procrastination!

Coffee Klatch

The key to developing a successful writing career is developing the habit of sitting down to write every day even when you don’t feel like it. I have been trying to do that. Some days, my brain feels like wood and I can’t seem to make myself do it. Some days, I have a long day of teaching and I can’t seem to find the time. Every week, though, no matter how I did on my goals the previous week, I vow to begin anew. Last week, I wanted to write four blog posts but only did two. Instead of focusing on what I didn’t do, I need to start focusing on what I did do. I sat down and wrote two blog posts. I also finished my character profiles for my latest novel. Maybe, I didn’t accomplish everything I set out to do, but I did accomplish those things. This is the third Monday in a row that I have written my Coffee Klatch post.

This week, I will continue to squeeze out time to write. I will sit down to write even when I don’t feel like it. I will remember that every day is a new beginning and each day I will begin again.

Killer Preoccupation

“When are we going to finish watching that show?”

“What show?”

“You know. Our new favorite show–MindHunter.”

“Our new favorite show? Like we have something in common?”

“Sure. We have a lot in common. We both have a son. We like to read the same writers. I’m a serial killer. You’re ….”

“Hold on there.”

“I was going to say, you’re studying serial killers.”

“I’m only studying serial killers so I get you right.”

“We’ve discussed this before. You can’t get me right. I already exist. You’re just channeling my reality from another dimension.”

“Not this again.”

“Anyway, when are we finishing our show?”

“I already finished it.”

“What? Without me?”

“Well, you were busy. I’m surprised you even like the show. You’re the one that said that what they say about serial killers is all bullshit. MindHunters is all about how they came up with the bullshit. The FBI agents who interviewed all those serial killers. They based all their theories on serial killers on those interviews.”

“Not everything is bullshit.”

“Like what?”

“Like, how all the serial killers try to control the interviews even though they no longer have any control. That’s spot on. That’s why we do what we do–for control. We control who gets to live and who gets to die. And we’re intelligent. We have to be to do what we do and not get caught. Of course, all those serial killers aren’t that smart after all.”

“Why not?”

“They got caught, didn’t they? They’re sitting in prison spilling their guts to FBI agents. That’s not too smart. And they’ll die in prison, too.”

“So you’re smarter than all those guys, huh?”

“Fuck yeah. I haven’t been caught yet, have I?”

“We’ll see.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Never mind. I found a new series. You’re going to love it. It’s called I Am a Killer.”

“Shit. You need a new hobby.”