Panicked

Panicked–how I felt when I got out of the car and realized the dress I was wearing was completely wrong for my job interview. It was too late now. The interview was in five minutes. I had bought three dresses for my interview and all three of them were wrong. This was the least objectionable and it was all wrong! I had to teach a demonstration lesson with kids I didn’t even know in about 30 minutes. All I could do was march in there and hold my head up.

Panicked–how I felt when I looked over during my demonstration lesson and noticed a girl out of her seat. She was shaking her water bottle full of pop and getting ready to spray it all over me and the other students at her table. Luckily, I noticed her in time and grabbed the offending bottle.

“I’ll take that,” I said.

“But it’s mine,” she said, her lip trembling.

I set it in front of the director who was observing me. He was oblivious.

Panicked–how I felt when the director was showing me the campus. The run-down playground, the abandoned field they used for P.E. The classrooms without computers or books. How can students learn here? I wondered.

I had a lot of ideas for how I would help those students, but I didn’t get that job. I didn’t panic, though. Sometimes, things happen for a reason.

via Daily Prompt: Panicked

There’s None Left

Sometimes, I wake up and I think, There’s none left. I don’t have anymore to give. I get up anyway and face the day. My son, Hunter, smiles at me and tells me he loves me. He always has something to give. I think, I can face the day for him.

I go to school. One of my students, D’Avonte, the one who used to hate me who now calls me his second mother, says, “Mom, can I sit by you today?” I think, I can face the day for him.

I go to the office. In my box is a letter from Safaa, it says, “Thank you for teaching me to be a leader, and not a follower.” I think, I can face the day for her.

I go to class. Hope hugs me without saying a word. I think, I can face the day for her.

I go to pick up Hunter from school. He dances when he sees me. I think, I had more to give after all.

 

via Daily Prompt: None

Control

So many things are out of my control lately. I lost my teaching job after 15 years of loyal service. No one is calling me for an interview. My mother’s health is declining. My son is growing up. I am growing older.

While I can’t control these things, I can focus on the things I can control.

I can get up every morning and go to my teaching job for the last few weeks I have it. I can continue to make a difference until the last day.

I can write every day. I can share my unique perspective with the world and learn from the perspectives of others.

I can make choices to improve my health and my outlook on life. I can eat healthy foods and exercise.

Maybe, I can’t control the challenges that life chooses to give me, but I can control how I choose to meet them.

via Daily Prompt: Control

Apprentice

No matter how long I teach, I will always be an apprentice. Just when I feel I have mastered my art, I discover a new technique or a new philosophy. Each new year brings me a fresh canvas, a clean sheet of paper. New students, fresh supplies. As in art, teaching allows me to have a fresh start every year. I can try something new every year. I can continue to revise and develop my craft, and, although I will never reach perfection, neither will I stagnate.

My Commitment

I have decided to stop dreaming about becoming a writer and start writing. I saw a quote today that said, “I am only a writer when I am writing.” Whenever I ask myself what I want to do with my life, the only answer that resounds in my mind is “write.” By starting a blog, I am committing to becoming a writer. I can only become a writer if I am writing.